Tuesday, 10 July 2012

Fifty Shades of F*cked Up

I know I’m late jumping onto this bandwagon (and by ‘late’ I mean, like, the last person ever) but there’s a few things that give me the heebie jeebies (not the good kind) about the latest book-crazemania, Fifty Shades of Grey.


First off, why is this book popular amongst 50 year old women? I wouldn’t want my mother reading this and if she was reading it I’d be very disturbed as to what is happening behind closed doors when I go to sleep at night.

Anyway, before I launch into an attack (?) on this wierd/fetish/sex-filled novel, I’ll write a brief brief BRIEF synopsis on the book...so far. I’m only ¾ of the way through as I type this. Stop judging.

The story is narrated by Ana, a self-confessed clutz, average, mumbling and whatever. She gets sent by her over-bearing roommate to interview a successful, rich young man called Christian Grey for a college newspaper. She’s attracted to him and long story short she falls for him (shock horror) and he takes her to his ‘Red Room of Pain’. He then deflowers her, and proceeds to perform all kinds of kinky shit. The only kind of relationship he proposes to her is an ‘agreement’ that she’ll be his Submissive sex slave and he’ll have his way with her. He spanks her, and doesn’t make love but ‘fucks her, hard’ (sorry mum).

Sounds romantic, huh.

The only reason I started reading this book was because of all the hype and, of course, the sex scenes. But to be honest I’m sick of them. It’s weirdly fetish-like and he makes her do things that are cringe-worthy and I find myself speed-reading those sections to get to the actual story part.

It’s gross. Seriously. E.L. James, what happened to you as a child?

Anyways, the story reminds me of Twilight (sans Vampires) because there’s the shy, average girl and the suave, amazing-looking male who’s all kinds of everything you don’t expect and they fall in love.

Been there, read that.

However, I will finish reading the book and to be honest I’ll probably read the whole series. I finished reading Twilight four years ago, it’s time for something new...I guess.


  1. Hahahah love that I read this now that I am also reading it. Thus, I am the last person on this band-wagon not you. Also agree about the Twilight part. She makes the 'creep' out to be some god like Robert Pattinson. Lucky I am 3 years older than I was when I read twilight and don't fall for guys in books anymore... let alone guys with a 'red room of pain. Haha

  2. Haha it is soo Twilight isn't it! SO many people have been telling me how dreamy Grey is and I'm like 'uhh no he seems like a freaky man with wierd fetishes!' Anyways, let me know what you think once you've finished it!